just some random thoughts...

In life, do you ever feel that you've reached your limit and you don't want to try anymore? it's had to grasp on to the thing you want most and you feel lost. i don't know why but i feel like i am at this crossroad right now, and i'm having trouble picking out the road i want.
recently, about a month ago, after i came back here, i started to realize that i have so many things wrong in me, and i'm slowly trying my best to change, and because of that, i'm facing a lot of hurdles. hurdles, if you were supposed to jump over them, you would do it naturally, but if you are forcing yourself, then there is this unknown force that keeps you from jumping higher up past these hurdles.
ya, i know i'm talking crap, but what i mean to say is, when you set your own targets, it seems so much more harder to reach them, but when others set you a target, it seems that much easier to reach it. and, i started realizing why, because only you know how far you can go, and you will push yourself, further and further, because you know your limits.
yesterday i was about to give up all my plans, and just let myself slip into free fall. but i guess i have to go further than that, since i have nothing to lose. i wish i had my vigor from before, i wish i can turn back time.

i know i can't,
that's why i try,
to find a finer,
to be a better,

not always easily solved,
but always arising easily,
problems are there unending,
your prerogative to end,

find a shining light,
in the darkest corner,
find your way home,
even if you're lost...