Monday, March 10, 2008

... god help me...


Seriously for the past week i have been fully occupied and i am nearly drained to bits... just went back to kedah for the weekend and celebrated my dad's birthday yesterday, i drove to and back nearly the whole way... i am tired like hell but i got football to play today hehehe... but the truth is i know i have many things to do... don't know when i am going to finish the sabah trip thing... malas to remember balik all the things we did (but i did already get the photos done...) the recent elections, which i would like to call the super elections took place and bn was dealt a heavy blow... tension seems on the rise every where i look and i don't feel to comfortable here anymore... and worst of all, people around me are saying goodbye to me like i am going to die... why is it going away some where far worries everybody? i know i am going to miss all of them but isn't the whole reason i am going to japan so i don't become a useless piece of thrash and make all of them proud? why do people make me so sad eh?... recently, talks about my 'past' love has come about and my thoughts are scrambled again, seriously your first love is the hardest to forget right?... kind of miss her a lot and thinking of the times she and i had together, i still wonder why she chose to play with my heart like that, i wonder why she said all those lovely things which she never really meant, i wonder why i never realised she was lying to me and why my heart couldn't accept the truth for so long... but like my sister and ito seiko sensei said... it's best that i forget that person who used me, get over her as fast as possible, leave when i'm still not shattered... easier said than done right? i know there are many people like me out there... cheated, used and worst of all, feel wrong even though we didn't do anything wrong... well to all those people, hang in there, we all will see the end of the tunnel some day, so 頑張れ!!! and yes i am going to be very occupied for this one month, so expect less updates and more rantings from me....

5 comments:

calvin said...

if i could recall, you did tell me about your story one night when i was going to leave sometime early last year, am i right? anyway, life is like that and you just have to carry on with it. you have lots of things on offering in japan awaiting you and just take that blip as an experience. i had gone through the similar thing as well, but once i step my foot here in japan, i told myself to forget everything of the past and this is going to be a new beginning of another chapter of my life. just move on with your life. i know it's much easier to say than applying actions on it, but that is the only advice i could offer.

perhaps you take those "goodbye" wishes differently but trust me, when you are living away from your close families and relatives and friends, you will be missing them. take this short remaining period to spend quality time with them. i know you will be returning to malaysia at some point again, but it won't be the same as you won't get the chance to spend as much time as you could at the moment.

i never expect to comment this long. just my two cents worth.

good luck and see you in japan :)

calvin said...

and i forget this;

Happy Birthday to uncle :)

Ganeindran said...

Calvin trust me... i appreciate what you said and i will use it well...

zhenhui said...

dude...
look on the brightside...
u're single...
being single kicks ass man!!!!!!!!!!!

trust me...
a few months down the road..
u'll read this post and kick urself in the ass for even thinking of posting this up!!!!
u don't have to feel down at all!!!!

i spent 1 year with u man..
i know u...
muahahahahahahaha :D

keep ur spirits up man

Ganeindran said...

hehehe.. i think i need less than one year...