限界を超える (passing your limits)...

what's rain? i always believed that rain falls when people are sad... teardrops from heaven..
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it's really raining quiet heavily outside, people around me are too busy to realize how lonely i've gotten, but don't blame them, it's my fault for not telling them. i just miss home suddenly, i miss amma (mom), i miss appa (dad - mr.rainoo, hehehe), i miss akka, anna, and mayu too (sis, bro and lil bro). i miss my friends who used to drag me out at night to have fun. i miss so many people that i feel so trodden. i miss those voices that i often thought were noisy, i miss the people who used to sms me who i always thought were pestering me. people were complaining about how fake the japanese people are towards us, but i can't help but feeling that it's me who is fake. they are so many kind people around me that i wish i could run away so often, why do these people have to care for me? i always believed in one thing, that i wouldn't become a burden to others... i feel terrible that i am becoming one now and that everyone has to take care of me...
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so i ran away... i rode my bicycle towards the south... as far as my legs could take me, and i ended up getting wet so badly and the veins in my legs i could feel were ready to snap at any moment... and as i was giving up pedaling along with so many other things, my hopes seemed so vague and all i wanted was to fall... as i was stopping slowly, there was this japanese lady standing in front of her house, i look at her, she looks back ,smiles, and utters 'きれいだね。。。(its beautiful right?..)’. for a moment i was puzzled, but when i looked at the sky in front of me, i smiled too... (i wish i took my camera, i could only get a rotten picture with my camera phone) the sky was split, half dark half bright and in the middle was my first (i think) rainbow in japan... when i turned back to acknowledge the lady, she was gone... leaving me in front of an ocean of endless tears and with beauty that surpasses everything... this is why i hate God, because he never lets me give up...

never ending streams stream,
never faltering steps stumble,
i still wonder why,
why the floor's slippery,
why am i falling,

as i fall slowly,
i reach out slowly,
time passes so slowly,
your hand reaches slowly,

reaching out to you,
feeling that i'll live,
because i have you,
as i catch your hand, the sun breaks the clouds again...

suddenly felt very emotional and wanted to write something... but (wtf) my poems are starting to stink (or have they always been like that?), i promise i'll write better posts after the exams...